the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
