I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
