White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
