Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
