Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
