Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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