remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
