im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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