You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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