i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and she was petting her beer can
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
