guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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