FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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