i don't like sucking hair
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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