I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
