Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
