His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
