So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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