I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
