Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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