I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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