I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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