You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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