from now on my penis is your penis
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
