i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
