Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
