Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
