just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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