So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
