Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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