we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
