I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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