Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
