And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
