It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
