i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
