just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize