dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
