Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
