oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
