My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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