i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
