I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
