If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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