well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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