Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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