My brain says no but my pants say off.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
