My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
