At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
