Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
