and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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