I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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