Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
