We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
