so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
