And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
