meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
