They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
