Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You made out with two different species that night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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