When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize